Kimmiekins4
Bio
Here to share my thoughts, hopes, and dreams. Telling stories of my navigation through anxiety, depression and alcohol use. I am also working on my first novel, and want to share it on here with all of you as well!
Stories (76)
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11 days
I am so proud that I have made it 11 days no alcohol! Yesterday was so chaotic in my house I felt like I just couldn't catch a break. But I kept pushing through and keeping myself busy with little things. I finally made myself a therapy appoint, so that will be on the 19th of this month. I was actually on Instagram yesterday and an account I follow shared a website to search for therapist. I felt that it was meant to be so I went on there and searched for people in my city. The first person I saw on there caught my attention, and seemed perfect for my situation. She specializes in dealing with anxiety, depression, and past trauma so I am really hopeful that this will work out. I am going to be paying for it out of my own pocket which I know will be a little more pricey but I have to try something. I have tried going through my insurance which honestly was such a bad experience that I almost wrote off therapy all together. Then I tried better help, and I did actually find someone through them but she ended up leaving 4 months after I started. I feel blessed that I am even able to do things this way, as I know there are so many that can't. This is why I always want to share my story and let people know that if they ever need someone that I am here. I have sometimes felt so alone in life in general and throughout so many of life's journeys, and I don't want anyone to ever feel that way. Just know you're never alone.
By Kimmiekins42 years ago in Confessions
Anxious Attachment
I think dating in general has always been difficult for some, even before the rise of dating apps. But I do feel the introduction of them on top of social media has made it far worse. I haven't had the best luck in love, so needless to say when I do finally find someone it sends my anxious attachment into overdrive. I am so scared of being abandoned that the slightest change in someone's attitude will send me into the worst case scenario. Don't even get my started on texting, at this point I almost wish it didn't exist! It's my goal to begin working on this part of myself, so I can be better for myself and my relationships.
By Kimmiekins42 years ago in Confessions
Reflecting and Healing
As I am writing this (kind of late as usual...but hey it's just about to be 11pm so I am making progress LOL) I am 9 days without alcohol. When I say I am feeling all the feels, I am feeling EVERYTHING. A YouTuber that I follow is actually quitting alcohol as well. She made a Instagram post today and a quote she used was "you have to feel to heal." I really love that, because it's so true. No matter if you drink, or do anything else a lot of times we are trying to numb our feelings because it's easier than feeling them. Today I was doing a lot of reflecting on when I started this journey truly for the first time 5 years ago. I began to realize so many things and why I was so unsuccessful staying sober.
By Kimmiekins42 years ago in Confessions
One Week No Alcohol!
Well I did it! I made it 7 whole days and not one drink of alcohol, even with temptation in the house. I am very proud of myself, as a lot of times when other people drink I tend to as well. I tend to have a fear of missing out when it comes to things like that. I just wanted to let you know if you're on this journey no matter where you are, thinking about starting, I am here for you and I support you. We got this, and sometimes we have to take it one minute at a time when things feel too overwhelming.
By Kimmiekins42 years ago in Confessions
Things feel different now
I first want to start by saying a huge THANK YOU to all of your support on my "Back to Square One" post! To everyone one that took the time to read it, read and comment, even subscribe to me, it means the world to me and you will never know how it's truly helping me. This also made top story and I am honestly speechless, I just couldn't be more grateful. Thank you everyone again from the bottom of my heart.
By Kimmiekins42 years ago in Confessions
I fell in love with a Felon
In a world full of judgement this is a story I never wanted to share directly in detail. Over the last two years since I began speaking with him I've posted about my feelings in a round about way, not giving to many details of our story. Through my writing on here it has brought me a lot of healing and a way to process the last two years of my life. I believe as a story teller, it's always good to share the good and the bad, but also the most vulnerable parts of your life. Not only does it help me heal, but I hope that my story could be comforting for someone else that might have went through or is currently going through a similar situation.
By Kimmiekins42 years ago in Confessions
Declining my new Job
"I know everything happens for a reason, but sometimes I wish I knew what the reason was." Right before the new year, I interviewed for a new job. I ended up being informed 2 days before new years that I got the job they just need to work out my salary. I went into things knowing that I would have a pay cut, I just wasn't sure how much. I was willing to take the pay cut to gain experience and have a fully remote job, but I also knew I needed to be realistic. Well they came back to me the other day letting me know that it would be a 12k pay cut. I was devastated, but am trying to remain optimistic.
By Kimmiekins42 years ago in Journal
My Comfort TV Shows when Anxious
Anxiety and depression numbers have been on the rise recently. I do feel that this is partially due to the pandemic. I also feel that due to slowing down, and more awareness being brought to these disorders, it's helping people to realize that they may have been dealing with this for much longer than they knew.
By Kimmiekins42 years ago in Journal
A Beautiful Disaster
**A draft from last year, I was going to submit for a challenge but didn't finish in time!** If walls could talk I could tell all the horrors I've witnessed, I am a prison wall after all. I've seen everything from people completely breaking down, screaming for help, fights, having every bodily fluid thrown at me and the other walls, to the worst which is death in many forms. It's rare for me to see any sort of happiness, which is why when I do I tend to hold on to every detail, and those are the stories I would love to share with anyone that would listen.
By Kimmiekins42 years ago in Fiction
