What Happened After I Finally Got Over the Cheating Partner in My Life?

He was one of the many loves in my life, but he broke my heart, time and time again. In spite of that little detail, I had a hard time saying goodbye and really meaning it.

We were together, off and on for over three years, and every time I told him it was over, I let him come right back; every time except the last time.

If this sounds familiar to you, you may be wondering how you can manage to break the vicious cycle of letting a cheating lover or spouse in and out of your life. Chances are, that's why you stopped when you saw the title.

Whatever your reason was, I'm glad you did bother to stop to read this, and I sincerely hope you read the story from start to finish. That way, you'll be able to see the necessary steps I took, to get rid of my cheating boyfriend once and for all, and stick to the decision after I did.

Alright, here goes…

What Lesson Should You Learn about Cheater in a Relationship?

There are plenty of life lessons we do well to learn about love and relationships, unfortunately, we usually don't learn them until it's well too late, after we graduate from the school of hard knocks.

Part of the reason for that, is our inability to apply certain lessons to all of our lives. Instead, we tend to pick and choose which good advice we want to accept and when we want to accept it.

For instance:

Most of us are familiar with Maya Angelou's words about how we should view people in our lives and the people we encounter in the world.

"When people show you who they are, believe them the first time."

Not only have you probably heard this quote hundreds of times (or some facsimile of it), but you may have even applied the advice it gives, at least once or twice.

Of course, not all relationships in life are created equal, but it's not enough to recognize the logic of this saying, when dealing with neighbors, co-workers, and people who only have a limited place in your world.

The hard part comes in having the good sense to know when you have to apply this principle to someone closer to you in your life.

If you're smart, as difficult as it may be for you to do, you'll find the strength to break ties with someone who shows you that they will always have a negative impact on you and your life.

Yep, that includes the person in your life who your very world may happen to revolve around. When they show you who they are, you have got to believe them. And if they have a toxic influence in your life, it may be time to think about letting them go.

What Happens When You First Leave a Broken Relationship?

I don't know why we find it so hard to face the fact that a cheater is a cheater, and rarely will that ever change. Women aren't the only ones guilty of this.

There are just as many brokenhearted men who have taken back cheating ex's so many times, they're embarrassed to say. Just because they may hide it a little better, doesn't mean they don't feel just as hurt or betrayed by a cheating partner.

But if you think accepting the truth and finally walking away for good is difficult, wait until you have to go through the painful motions of moving on with your life.

It's scary as hell, and I can recall every difficult moment of one particular breakup, just as if it happened yesterday, and not more than 30 years ago.

Needless to say, it's the guy I mentioned in the opening paragraph. His name was Anthony and he was five years my junior, so I was already a little self-conscious about the relationship.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I was still a pretty decent looking woman, in my early thirties and I had good self-esteem, but dating a handsome younger guy who was well-liked by everyone was definitely a challenge to my ego and my level of trust.

On the other hand, there were definite perks, including emotionally and physically. He kept me young, in and out of the bedroom. The thought of being physical like that with someone else was just too much to even consider. That was probably one of the reasons I continued taking him back; until I didn't.

Once I finally ended it for good, I felt empowered, like I had before I first met him and allowed him to start manipulating my heartstrings. It was a good feeling, but not an easy one to maintain.

Sometimes I missed him so much, I wanted to go back to my usual routine, and find an excuse to contact him. But I didn't. Believe me, moving on was tough, especially in the beginning.

But the good news is, it's possible. If I did it, anyone can, because I won't lie, I was sprung on this dude (as we use to say :)

One of the ways that I was able to get over the breakup and move on was by relying on the one constant that is always in my life (besides my spirituality), and that's my writing.

I didn't just journal write about my breakup, I actually wrote a little self-help ebook. That was years ago, but recently in 2026, I revisited the material and freshened up the content.

Some of the advice and opinions I shared about moving on in the republished ebook, is cited below.

How Do You Move Forward When a Relationship is Over?

As the days following the breakup turn into weeks and months, be prepared to encounter some rough patches. During these times, it is important to keep looking forward. Even when you've been out of the relationship and alone for a while, your single and alone status will still feel new.

You may find yourself getting lonely a lot, even during times when other people are around. More than anything, you probably miss having someone to cuddle up to at night or talk to in the evening (even if all the two of you ever did was argue).

If you and your mate have children that you take care of by yourself now, things are probably extra hard. Supporting a family and doing everything to maintain a household as a single person is difficult.

That is why when children and finances are a major concern, a breakup really should be thought out properly. If ever you needed to weigh your decision wisely, it's when kids are involved.

But since you have already carefully thought about this, don't make yourself crazy by second-guessing your decision. Just remember that no matter how hard things may seem now that you and he are split up, you made a concrete decision to end the relationship.

The reasons you did it were valid and those reasons haven't changed. If you keep that in mind, it will help you get through the tough and lonely times successfully.

Why Can Relationship Breakups Have a Bad Affect on Your Self-Image?

In order for you to survive the various stages of a breakup, you need to start developing a better self-image; one that realizes just how special you really are.

This may or may not be a particularly serious issue, depending on how well-adjusted you were prior to the relationship. Sometimes, we just encounter the wrong man in our lives (or woman), though we may have been doing fine up until that point.

If this is the case, it probably won't take long to start learning how to enjoy and pamper yourself again.

On the other hand, if your self-esteem was already low, it certainly didn't improve any by being in a relationship where you were ignored, unappreciated, mistreated or simply unloved.

This makes it doubly important that you start taking care of YOU and treating yourself like the queen (or king) you are.

Trust me you guys, this is one point that I really took to heart, and it's probably the one thing that most people end up neglecting.

Under these types of circumstances, it may take a while before a person learns how to appreciate their true worth again.

Something as simple as allowing yourself a day at the spa to be pampered can be the start of a whole new outlook. Before you know it, you will begin to treat yourself to other guilty pleasures that you would have never thought to enjoy before.

To your surprise, you may find yourself turning into a different kind of shopper; the kind who likes to spoil themselves every once in a while. This is a good thing, as long as you don't take food off the table, neglect the rent, or run your credit cards into debt.

You deserve to feel and look good, so don't be afraid to spend a little time and money on yourself. Learn to cater to your own physical needs and desires. If money is tight, you can still find ways to treat and pamper yourself.

The key is finding ways to feel good inside and out, so that you can continue developing a healthy self-esteem. Body massages, bubble baths, and making yourself feel extra special is always a good start.

Final Word

Obviously, there is so much more involved with moving on with your life, after spending three years, or even three months for that matter, with someone you cared a lot about.

The things mentioned in this story were the main issues that I personally had to contend with, and learn to get the mastery over.

There was actually one other major issue that I decided to devote another story to, because it's a really sensitive one. You can read about it later if you're the least bit curious:

What Happens to Your Sex Life When You First Get Out of a Relationship?

For now, hopefully the tips I just shared about overcoming one of my own breakups, are just as helpful to anyone who finds themselves in the same or similar situation.

Remember:

• Always keep in mind the life lesson Maya Angelou shared with her wise words about how to view people.
• Seek out ways and activities to help you move on, such as the activity that saved me, besides my spirituality.
• Never underestimate the importance of maintaining a good self image, and do what you can to keep it.

Life may be hard to accept immediately after a serious breakup and finally moving on after the relationship. But you can do it, just like others before you, just as long as you stick to your decision to stay gone.

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For more on this topic, pick up a copy of my 2026 updated Amazon release: