Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Viva.
Who We Are
It's almost 2018 and our voices are still not being heard. In a man-made world, we are still silent. Now from my experience, I have been through two of these situations. As a young woman, I am taught that my body is sacred. For it to be sacred though, I need to change this and that about my body. Be aware of my personality and say what they want me to say. We have grown up in an epidemic where social media has raised us. Women hide so much of their true self that when we try to identify who we really are, we just can't. My first relationship was in high school. In my mind, he was everything I wanted. But like most young men, they have something hidden and painful. Who doesn't have that though, at an age where everything is confusing? Anyways, it seemed like I always learned to take care of his needs before my own. In my mind I just thought I was being a great girlfriend but to him, it's the word submissive. He was the reason that I feared the things I use to love. In a world that already seems damaged, the plunge to hell was coming quicker. I was the girl who lied my way for him. I'd runaway to be with him yet runaway to be far from him. I'd tell friends that I had fallen or was just clumsy. I became distant to people who had always been there for me. I wasn't living my life anymore. When we broke up, I felt even lower. My bipolar disorder became intensified, the PTSD was settling hard in my thoughts and I just remember my life being blurry. He stalked me for a year. A freaking year of constant torture. "I love you, no wait I hate you." Back and forth we were with each other. I had to repair relations that I figured were damaged. I had really good friends at the time who helped me figure myself out again. Then I met my longest relationship to date. He was someone I met through my first and I wish I could of seen the signs. Now let me tell you, the ex did some damage to my mind mentally that I experienced drugs and became an addict to deal with the pain. I felt like he stole a part of my youth that I just needed to get back. So, partying, staying out late, drinking and getting high to let time go by. Yeah; that was my life for a bit until I met J. J seemed like he cared on a deeper level. We had a serious connection and we went through a lot together. Again, I was submissive with him. I tried pushing him to do better and want to be better. This just led me back to the same path of pain that I was trying to get rid of. I damaged relationships all over again, we were both full blown addicts, homeless a few times and everything you could imagine happened. He was my devil on both shoulders. The night he choked me to a point where I could of passed out made me question myself and why I would want to keep going through this. I eventually made a plan to get him out of my life but I'm still working on myself. I learned in my own experience that both my abusers were troubled teens. Someone had let them down and couldn't lift them back up. It is so hard for a young adult to face reality and then have society tell you it is your fault. You don't hear enough about the truth. Did you know 85% of women are more likely to be victims to domestic abuse than men? Scary thought right? That is someone's mother, daughter, niece, aunt, and friend. For the abuser, every 20 minutes you have laid physical abuse on a woman, have chosen 1 out 7 to stalk immensely. YOU became the 19% who used a weapon for fear. YOU, have impacted someone's physical and mental health. And more than half of them are 6ft under because you had issues and used it on them. ME, I wish there was more talk about what to do when you are in this type of relationship. I wish there was a better handle of this and more women would speak up for their selves. If you can't speak for yourself, speak out for the younger generation who looks up to you. Don't let them think that hiding a problem is a way of solving it. Don't let them think abuse and bullying, is a way of affection cause it's not. It takes 30 seconds to let someone know you are hurting and in danger. Don't let it be too late. Don't fake your own life to please someone else.
By Katlyn Jackson8 years ago in Viva
6 Reasons Why Cutting Off All My Hair Made Me Happier
Almost four years ago, I marched into my local hair salon armed with a sense of reckless confidence. I sat down and resolutely asked the stylist to cut off all my hair – clicking through a slideshow of sample pictures I’d saved from the Internet – to which she replied, “How long have you thought about this?”
By Carissa Joy Johnson8 years ago in Viva
Don't Ask Me When I'm Having a Baby
It is automatically assumed that when a woman enters her early twenties that she would be trying for a baby. And if she hasn't given birth or hinted at having a family by the time she is 25, something must be terribly wrong. In my own experience, older family members seem to think it is perfectly acceptable to ask you when you're going to have a baby every single time you see them.
By Jenna Edwards8 years ago in Viva
#MeToo. Top Story - November 2017.
There’s this hashtag going around Facebook recently - you might have seen it? It goes like this: "If all the women/femme aligned folks who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote "#MeToo” as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem."
By Kate Nichols8 years ago in Viva
What to Know About Permanent Birth Control for Women
It is important to know that you have options when it comes to permanent birth control procedures. This process can seem intimidating without knowing all of the details. And this is why it is crucial to know what to expect, how your recovery process will go, and what is best for your body. Your local women's health organization will always be of great help in your process, as well.
By Sherry Campbell8 years ago in Viva
Comfort of Darkness
Darkness. It’s comfortable. I’ve hidden in it since I can remember, like delving into a cool black lake and submerging my head beneath the water, disappearing from reality. It stings my skin and makes me feel alive. Refreshed. To everyone around me, I am still invisible. I am safe, now. No more of that, no sir. I’ll probably have to go to the diner soon, to meet her, but I don’t want to. Little sister doesn’t understand me because she’s had a perfect life. After all these years, she loves to make damn sure I know it. She left me by myself that night, after we promised to always be there for each other. All that talk about sex — she loves it.
By Nadia Zielinska8 years ago in Viva
Of Course Men and Women Can Be 'Just Friends'
“Can men and women really be 'just friends?' Asking for a friend...” The Facebook page for the website SoulPancake.com decided to throw some chum in the water of the ongoing gender conversation by sarcastically asking if men and women can really be ‘Just Friends.’ I get what they are trying to do, kick up some social media dust for some action on their Facebook page. That said, the social media team for SoulPancake.com might want to read the room a little before they get cute with the traffic friendly cheapies. The question of whether men and women can be "just friends" is much more of a hot button than they seem to think.
By Sean Patrick8 years ago in Viva
#metoo: Thoughts for the Men We Love
I am really looking forward to the day when I don't first need to preface this post by saying I understand a lot of readers may not necessarily agree with this, and that clearly I am not casting all men into a pit of shame and blame. I'd really like to not need to remind the men who I love dearly that I do not see them all as mainstream jerks who've ruined my, or other women's lives.
By Katie Froese8 years ago in Viva
The #metoo Denier
I’m a sexist. This revelation was as much of a surprise to me as I’m sure it is to you reading it. Even more so when I consider my family, made up predominantly of strong women, and my friendship group full of bright, intelligent wonderful ladies, to whom I regularly preach the importance of women and female friendships. Not to mention the fact that I identify as a feminist.
By Lara Dolden8 years ago in Viva
I Am Strong
It was the start of my sophomore year of high school, I was scared and excited. Worried and carefree. I was far from popular but I had friends, lots of them. We were the outcasts, the kids in Japanese culture club. We played Magic the Gathering in study hall, Pokémon on our DS’s walking through the hallway. I was a tough cookie. I joined protests, silent and loud. I protested animal abuse, the firing of the lunch ladies, sexual assault. I wore the teal ribbon in April for all of my friends who had suffered through sexual abuse and assault. I taped over my mouth on the Day of Silence for those who fought depression silently and didn’t win the battle. I was strong in what I believed in and I was even stronger in knowing who I was.
By Emma Bukovsky8 years ago in Viva
What’s Up with Her?
It seems like a lot these days we see a lot of domestic violence campaigns and awareness. I’m sure most of you have seen the advertisements on who to call in an emergency on the back of your public restroom doors at some point. Or have signed a permission slip to have your daughter or son attend a class or watch a certain movie in school about domestic violence. But what is actually happening? Why is it spreading around and why does it keep happening to younger and younger adults and why is it becoming normalized? This is my story as a 19-year-old female whose day to day life is a statistic in the signs on the back of those bathroom stalls.
By Alexa Anne8 years ago in Viva
